We have to believe and work hard, relying on a healthy body and is also ready to support efforts and tensions in the long term. No matter whether able-bodied or disabled: when there is half the passion, nothing is a limit, if not the mind to create the conditions.
Even the emotions are trained
First of all, known and then exercised to avoid being overwhelmed: the emotions should not drive us, if anything, are we to having to address. To do this you must become aware of what stirs in us. Emotions are part of us, some are born with anger, others by fear, others by childhood experiences, or others, from experiences that have left their mark and are integrated with the daily affairs of life, accumulating over time, along days and nights. We energetically vibrant and our body transcribes as a great telegraph, our every mood and stores, it glimpses the signs to the somatic level.
How to train the emotions: build the ABC of their emotions
Awareness of the relationship between thoughts and emotions the way we interpret reality and we attribute a meaning to the events influence our moods and our behaviors: building the ABC of their emotions
The world we live begins in our heads, it is the way we perceive, interpret, evaluate and imagine that shapes our world and our emotions.
Suppose we observe two children of the same age in a pool with their mother, it could happen that one happy wallow in the water uttering little cries of joy and the other cries frightened, screaming want will come out from the water. Different people in the same situation so they can experiment with more very different emotions. What determines this difference? And 'the attitude of mind with which these two children, influenced by past experiences arise in the face to be immersed in the pool. One will probably think that being on the water is great fun, the other being on the water is a scary thing. As early as 120 d.c. the philosopher Epictetus said, "Men are not disturbed by things, but by the opinions about the things that you do."
Sometimes it is difficult to identify what we think in certain situations as some of our thoughts have become automatic because certain ways of thinking have been practiced so frequently that it becomes habitual and escape our awareness. This gives us the impression that he reacted emotionally without thinking. Another reason why it is sometimes difficult to identify our thoughts is due to the fact that sometimes we confuse the thoughts and emotions. It can happen, for example, to say: "I feel that I never will," or "I feel stupid," while it would be more accurate to say "I think I never will," "I think I'm a fool."
Change thinking
Thoughts are a form of behavior that are not directly observable in the interior, but still editable. We acquired our way of thinking through the experience and then learned, not innate. Changing way of thinking is changing certain habits, obviously not to change all of our ways of thinking, but only those that lead us to have frequent and intense emotions unpleasant.
First, it is important to learn to suddividre our emotional experiences into three parts:
the situation (or triggering event) A
thoughts B
our emotional reaction C
In this way we will build the ABC of our emotions.
The situation A
Where am I? When? With who? And 'the triggering event that started the whole sequence of the episode emotional. An important skill to acquire is to separate the triggering event by the interpretations and assessments concerning it.
Thoughts B
While I was in that situation what I said? What did I think? I had such fantasies or images? Any situation that we live is discussed internally. The emotions are influenced by considerations which make the events. Emotional episode to point B are placed all thoughts about a situation. These thoughts can be rational (functional), ie realistic and objective considerations, which help to achieve their aim and provoke emotional reactions appropriate or irrational (dysfunctional) that considerations unrealistic, exaggerated, distorted sometimes exhibit that hinder the achievement of its objectives and cause emotions negative excessive both as intensity as that duration.
The emotional reaction C
It follows that what determines the emotional reaction C (what kind of emotions I feel?) Is not the event itself as commonly you can think of but the cognitive processes, thoughts of point B.
Example of use of the model A-B-C
A person is heavily criticized during a business meeting and test a strong reaction of anger
A Activating Event: Receive a heavy criticism in a business meeting.
B Thoughts: "I can not stand that I will say certain things." "I do not absolutely have to treat me this way!"
C Emotional reaction: strong anger
The psychological suffering is maintained by automatic thoughts that cause intense emotions unaware dysfunctional and unpleasant
Suppose ch2 to point B our person had thought instead: "I find it annoying to hear these things, but they are only opinions ... the meeting was unpleasant but still bearable." "I'd rather not be treated this way, but not the behavior of colleagues can always be pleasant. "As a result of these different thoughts the person would feel discomfort and irritation but would not be upset by the anger and would be able to keep a clear mind to better cope with the situation without letting it degenerate into an increase in aggressiveness.
So a different way of thinking would lead to several emotional reactions which in turn would determine rezioni behavioral most useful. As already underlined are not events in themselves to create the emotions but the way in which we read them and give them meaning. So a little 'color and intensified the writer John Milton in Paradise Lost wrote "The mind by itself can make a heaven and a hell hell heaven."
Identify dysfunctional thoughts
Identify dysfunctional thoughts and change our way of thinking it promotes psychological well-being
To start a process of change must first be consapevli thoughts that trigger specific emotions and therefore unsatisfactory behavior. As I described an episode split second the ABC model is critical to identify the irrational thoughts.
There are a few main categories of dysfunctional thoughts, thoughts that they contain a bias in view of the situation:
Doverizzazioni and absolutist thought
Consist in believing that "things have to go absolutely well", that "others must absolutely act in a certain way", "I must have absolutely what I want." The mistake is to consider what an absolute requirement in most cases there is an objective preference.
How can we change the thoughts that create problems? The questioning of dysfunctional beliefs
Our goal is to be able to manage their thoughts, their emotions and their behavior to get better. The more we are aware of what is in our minds the more we are able to create our well-being.
After identifying our irrational thoughts we can begin to identify different ways of viewing reality. When we talk about mistakes of thought does not want to talk about these things "wrong" per se that should be replaced with the "right" but point out the danger of using our minds in a rigid, one-sided, repetitive and no alternatives and therefore dysfunctional.
The most direct way to change the thoughts irrazionarli is put into question, in some cases we do it spontaneously, without realizing it. For example if we look a horror movie can happen that we say to ourselves: "It 's just a movie."
Through the use of open-ended questions that allow to propose other points of view on the issue (References counterexample) or questions that allow you to better specify the different aspects that make up the problem (reference specification and differentiation), we can create alternative formulations thought.
Possible arguments helpful in dealing with the different categories of dysfunctional thoughts
Doverizzazioni and absolutist thought
"Why do things have to go this way?" "Because I must do this thing?" "It would be good ... it would be better ... it would be nice ... but this does not mean you should go for strength ... so it is not an absolute requirement."
Unbearable intolerance
"How do I prove that it is really unbearable?" "At best, it is a very troublesome thing, unpleasant, sometimes painful, but to which we can survive."
Global writedowns of themselves and of others
"As a person can do wrong things or unpleasant we can not evaluate it globally, I can judge the behavior but not the person." People are something different and more complex than their behavior. "" Even if I made a mistake are still a person of value. "" Even if I did something wrong in other situations I have done all right. "" My value does not depend on the appreciation that others show me. "
Catastrofizzazione
"What is the worst thing that can happen in this situation?" "And if it happened it would be really the end of the world?" "It is an unfortunate thing but I can deal with it and overcome it." "We can not predict the future, all that we can do is engage effectively in the present. "
Indispensability, absolute needs
"Some things are beautiful, they make life more pleasant, but they are not indispensable." "I can not have certain things and live the same, if a little 'less well." "I can find other things that allow me to live pleasantly . "
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