How to manage relations with the partner's family

Many couples, sooner or later, have to reckon with the interference of the families of origin; the relationship with her in-laws, in fact, is crucial for the proper functioning of the relationship. In the game there are several levels of relationships: between husband and wife, between mother and child, between siblings and in-laws. And if the partner is chosen for certain characteristics that make it attractive to our eyes, the same does not apply to parents and relatives, to be accepted as they are.

Avoiding that families of origin ruining our married life?

Relatives needy
There are relatives who live on the backs of others, always asking for aid and favors and facing a refusal leverage the guilt, giving the new partner responsible for this "abandonment". It is a form of invasion that can give rise to heavy fighting because one would like to meet the demands of his family and the other does not like these excessive claims.
To avoid these situations, the best thing would immediately establish the boundaries of their availability, because, in the absence of poles, the intrusion is guaranteed. But do not make the same game and call the mother-in-law only when we need to baby-sit!

Relatives intrusive
It is the most prevalent category: phone every hour, arriving unannounced, they are placed in the house for days and stick their noses everywhere. Usually where there is a family intrusive is a son / a pulseless; men often slaves of the mother who does not have the courage to take distance. However it is not a phenomenon only men, there are also many women who even after marriage continue to rely only on the mother.
To prevent relatives to meddle too much in your life you have, from the beginning of history, clearly establish the limits. So Mom and Dad need to know when and how are welcome.

Relatives "chilly"
At first it seems a fortune: Reserved relatives who keep their space and stay away from the newly formed pair. With time, however, we need to understand whether it is indifference or if it is a question of character and sense of respect. In the first case we have to confront directly and clarify the reasons for this position. If it comes to character, with the delicacy and the time people will win the shyness.

The steps
The first step, whatever our type of family, must be the child / ae each partner must place limits and conditions to his family and demand respect for the beloved. But if the attack is personal and not directed to the couple, then it is important to have a direct confrontation with the "in-laws".
Another important step is to be firm but conciliatory because in case of misunderstandings or clashes with the family of the other must maintain a firm attitude but diplomatic. It is essential for the mediation does not blow up the balance of family and couple.
Finally frame immediately who you have in front to immediately establish rules and clear boundaries.