The reasons for this attitude unjustified can be many, most are related to a kind of defense mechanism ("I do not like to not suffer"); these causes are dictated by a factor responsive situational, the classic example is a story ended badly, where the subject has been so deeply hurt by not wanting to repeat an experience that could potentially replicate the same malaise. Let us examine in detail all the cases:
Reactive emotional factor. It is found in people who consider love a crippling factor in what would make them weak. E 'typical of people who want to appear strong and confirm their self-sufficiency, in this context, love is seen as a threat because it comes in the fear of losing their freedom.
Causes related to children, in this case, the relationship with parents. For example, if during childhood, the demands of affection of the child are not answered or generate negative feedback. The subject will bring with it an inferiority complex that in a pathological condition will generate a psychological block for which the subject does not feel worthy of receiving love. A typical symptom of these subjects is difficult to establish relations of any type, in the social area.
Factor intrusive self-injurious. Although it is not real fear of loving, the symptoms are similar. Such persons, unlike the other, fall in love but are still inclined to sabotage the relationship just because of the nature of their structure self-defeating.
The philofobia is a condition that affects the lives of those who suffer because philofobi fail to fall in love; They are driven to chase impossible relationships where they leave before being "abandoned. these individuals tend to sabotage the relationship, find pretexts for quarrels and prefer a tumultuous relationship. Sometimes they focus on particular defects or subtle and create the situation designed to destroy the relationship. For example, they could set up a scenario of jealousy: no matter how the partners will be fair and correct, the subject will certainly be brought to destroy the report for its "obsessive jealousy". Jealousy, along with other factors, is one of many excuses used by philofobo. In any case, the escape from the relationship does not eliminate, indeed, it intensifies the fear with a range of symptoms:
-attacchi panic
-anxiety
-sudorazione excessive
-tachicardia
Nausea
-disfunzioni dysfunction for him, difficulty reaching orgasm for her
In borderline cases, the person will also have consequences outside the sentimental sphere: the fears can invade any context, from the social to the business, which is typical of the subject anxious.
The only way to cope with this condition is to use patience and adopt precise rules:
-of facing insecurity and fear for a new relationship, one must not run away but to analyze the reasons for the discomfort. Could serve seek help from an expert to get out of this state of enforced solitude.
-it is advisable to live a new experience every day, without making plans. Thus the symptoms will fade, with the design, the subject may feel trapped, so the symptoms tend to amplify.
-it is helpful to understand that every story is different, people are different from those of the past. A aspettoinvalidante is just focus on the past without tasting the positives dictated by the novelty.
-may be helpful to discuss with your partner and tell him about their fears. This will intensify the extent of confidence channeling the couple relationship in a positive way.
-it is important to understand that being in love does not represent any form of dependence on the partner.
-You must understand that a rejection is not crucial for the self-esteem. This concept is dedicated to those who avoid the amorous approaches for fear of rejection or of being judged negatively.
-for self-defeating: it required a deep analysis of the problem. The subject has become aware that in reality its not "afraid of love", but rather, his status was due to a fallacy in which the subject believes he does not deserve any kind of love. Since the self-destructive behaviors have invalidated the entire experience of the subject, this probably will not have positive data in memory.
In other words, the person has no memories of emotional experiences positive / constructive, therefore, to be able to consolidate a relationship is the subject needs to acquire positive experiences with their partner: for a long time there should be no quarrels in the pair. The self-defeating learning the meaning of his being and doing, will be raised to safeguard the welfare of the couple in the first place and, to complete healing, also of the other areas. For those self-defeating, it is strongly recommended a psychotherapeutic / psychoanalytic.
Tips for the partners: alongside a philofobo is no easy task. It is generally not advisable to bring out their feelings, this could amplify the symptoms of philofobo that will reverse. It may be mentioned a process of couples therapy.
Difficulty in sexual intercourse. A key factor that is often omitted is the difficulty in the pursuit of pleasure during sexual intercourse. Difficulty inducing the woman to fake orgasm and the man to avoid intercourse. This difficulty may be mitigated through specific positions during the act. Positions in which during the act's faces are not front (ventral position or positions where the woman is from behind). The difficulties described above may be obviated spontaneously, through mechanisms of dissociation: the partner is projected in another context, imagining a relationship altogether. This dissociation arises from unconscious mechanisms. As we have seen the philofobo is reticent to emotional ties, therefore, precisely during intimacy, when the couple "blends", the subject finds this ploy to break away from the couple themselves. Unconsciously philofobo you not agree to receive pleasure from their partner and the non-acceptance leads to a dissociation, dysfunctional attitude.
The fear of love is one of the worst fears because it deprives us of the most beautiful part of our life, to love and be loved.
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