Conflicts of couple often summarize a series of recriminations that manifest frustrations; hence in the inevitable series of question and answer is not uncommon that everyone remains on the defensive and do not strive to get closer to each other to really understand the object of contention.
However, to avoid that the discussions have unpleasant consequences, it is important that both the parties use an appropriate tone and words consistent. Because you have to learn to fight, leaving deep wounds.
Llitigare without injury
Constructive discussions
Some people prefer to smash open conflict masked, which is expressed through the underground sarcasm or passive-aggressive behavior, while others fear the comparison to the point of avoiding any argument to keep the atmosphere as much as possible idyllic.
Actually a couple really balanced is not the one that does not quarrel ever, but one that can do it in the most appropriate. This means using the misunderstandings and difficulties to lead a process of growth and if necessary reconsider their views, since the argument is a time of mutual understanding.
Llitigare without injury
The rules for her and for him not to use the other's weaknesses
In a loving relationship, knowledge of each other's weaknesses and frailties may be counterproductive. While allows you to live a more authentic relationship, encouraging an open exchange, the other can be used during a fight to hurt the partner with offensive weapons. So during an argument you should not take advantage of the vulnerabilities of the other.
Do not use "always" and "never"
Use these adverbs means exaggerate the judgment, giving a distorted and provocative behavior of the partner. Better to resort to a language less categorical, making it possible to take a step back from the individual positions, approaching the party considering other points of view and other angles.
Leave out parents and in-laws
Often the temptation to shift responsibility of grudges and misunderstandings to their parents can be strong, but it is to be avoided. The risk is involved in the melee relatives, with the formation of opposing sides. This prevents the relationship to evolve, keeping it trapped in cruel forces that do not allow you to be honest with themselves and with each other.
Do not stop and listen
Knowing how to listen is a precious art that requires the ability to express leave the other without interfering, without judgment and blame. Apply this mode during a fight is difficult, because it requires self-control, tact and sensitivity. But exercise is good for the couple and to really understand each other's needs.
Avoid insults and profanity
During an argument they often take offense and use terms are ill suited. In this way, however, the discussion does not lead anywhere. Better to wait until the anger passes and then open a comparison using more civil tone.
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