As we psychologists, philosophers and spin doctors are committed to studying magic recipes and formulas to save the couple and romantic relationships, it is actually difficult and above all there is no single solution. The pairs of long life, happy and serene, however, exist and it is "studying" this has been possible to draw up some countermeasures necessary to lasting and solid relationship.
There are many stereotypes about the rules saves couple, but sometimes they are more harmful than good. Let's see then what to remove and what should review the various theories to drop one of a pair of manual.
Strategies saves couple
Children can split the pair
The idea that the arrival of a child is an event harmful to the couple is fairly recent; in reality this happens if the report is based on a mutual narcissism that pushes partners deeply in love and used to be reflected in each other, to form a single nucleus. In these cases the children can create a real emotional earthquake.
But if the couple, despite the changes, you can change and recognize their new identity, then the children will not destabilize all. Obviously it is important to maintain an erotic life also made of tenderness, especially since there will be times when the pace change erotic. And a way to go sometimes to the size of the dual is to entrust their children to grandparents or friends for a few hours or days, without guilt because what gives welfare to a child is not only the physical presence of the parents, but also a good family harmony.
You have to communicate ... but also know how to keep quiet
Often say everything becomes a double edged sword; deeply analyze everything could become a way to try to know everything about the other and then to control it. But the truth is that love rejects every rational scheme, there are no clear answers and defined and feelings are floating; not always the words can express the feeling you and misunderstandings can arise. The communication is non-verbal and this defines true empathy.
This does not mean that we should not talk, because to solve some problems is crucial, but every couple also needs moments of silence, pauses to listen to yourself and your partner in order to give more meaning to what will be said later.
Strategies saves couple
Sex is important but also the quality
The desire changes throughout the life of all of us, is floating and it is not easy to master it.
Some couples argue that the crisis depends on the number of sexual relations, but in reality this is not a reliable factor, but rather the intensity of when you do it. Always be on the same wavelength is not possible, but what matters is the ability and the pleasure of playing together.
Wanting to change each other?
See each other not as it is but as it should be or as we would like it to be is a subtle form of violence that can push him to feel poorly understood, unappreciated and unloved; It is like asking him to move away from its most authentic aspirations they do not correspond to ours. The demand for change is acceptable only if there are behaviors that hurt or disappoint deeply.
In reality, if we trust the love, we love that person with strengths and weaknesses, slowly changes happen without being requested, but only because it is responsible for the couple.
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