Why do we fall in love with the wrong person

We fall in love by any chance? It often h

Because they trigger these mechanisms whereby two individuals are attracted unconsciously?

The attraction, to understand the chemistry, not born by chance! It is already designed subconsciously to that type of person. From a psychoanalytic point of view the reasons are related to their historical unconscious.

What is the historical unconscious? Each of us has a parallel life unconscious that begins from birth and often gets stuck and is expressed in real life so as to condition our choices.

From the third year of our historical unconscious draws a sort of path determined by their childhood experience, on which it is sovrastrutturato their conscious, that will be the precursor for all future interpersonal and social relationships to be established in the course of adult life.

Who we like is the man or woman that matches perfectly with our symptoms. In other words we are drawn to those who resonate with the child who has traced our historical unconscious. This psychological condition we riconduc the first love relationship of our lives, what with our mother / my father.

And it is in the relationships or instincts, which eat, defend themselves, love that is manifested its historical unconscious reproducing, in the case of falling, the adult relationship in the child indelibly imprinted in us. So your loved one will always be comparable to the parent who is. In reality, however, this overlap does not match the real father or mother, but the images that we have of them introjected unconscious.

Because it triggers this psychological process? How childhood experiences have the greatest influence on the choice of partner?

Because we hope that that person will help to heal the wounds of the past, that will give us what parents have not been able to give us.
In the course of psychosexual development of the child, the parent of the opposite sex is the first object of love.

If the relationship with the parent was not sufficiently satisfactory for the child, once adult, will search for partners in a symbolic substitute to represent him.

Who becomes the ideal partner?

One then tries in companion, mother or father ideals in an unconscious attempt to meet their needs in this child of love frustrated, seeking a partner or having the negative characteristics of the parent, with the unconscious intention to change it, so to relive the past to repair old wounds.

To replicate these negative traits in our choice of partners, our unconscious mind is trying to recreate the conditions of childhood to correct, that is to return to the scene to clarify the outstanding issues of the past.

Passive or reactive in choosing a partner.



This attitude stems unconsciously reactive in the woman who has suffered from the absence of the father (physically or emotionally distant), which will seek to partner in a substitute father figure, determining their choice of men who possess characteristics of authority, power, and security .

The passive attitude instead arises when you bind men to irresponsible, unpredictable or hardly present, exactly as the real parent, with the hope of changing them unconscious and thus satisfy the former need to be loved by his father.

appens to be attracted almost immediately to a person who may know recently.